I had a few thoughts today as I was hanging out with my two precious children. I realized that my kiddos are growing up. I also realized that I'm really not heart broken over it. Sure, I get those moments of being overwhelmed by how quickly the time has passed and I miss the ages they will never be again, but I don't have that yearning for time to rewind like I usually do.
Anyone who knows me well knows that this is weird for me. Usually I'm a mess of red-eyed blubbering at even the smallest moment of reminiscing. So when I realized this, I spent some time really thinking about it. I don't know that I'll ever make sense of it, but I enjoyed watching my big boy and precious girl doing big kid things and not needing to put my sunglasses on to try to hide my bloodshot eyes.
A good friend of mine, actually, she was my good friend and boss before I had Jonah, had given me some very sound advice before he was born. "Enjoy every moment". It really sounds like a simple thing - maybe even a cliche - but I took it to heart. At some point I had made the decision that I was going to do just that: enjoy every moment I can with these precious spirits that I'm being blessed with. And while I know I can always do better living up to that mantra - I sure try.
And I wonder, did it make all the difference? Did my attempts at appreciating every little moment I have with my children help prevent me from being sad that those moments passed? It almost seems a little bit backward. Shouldn't I miss those moments because I experienced them so fully? For me, however, I believe this to be a tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father. I am so grateful to him that I'm able to look at my children climbing ropes and swimming under water and be excited for what the future holds rather than what I'm going to miss about them being little. I think He knew that it would be hard for me to not hold on to the past so He is helping me enjoy as many seconds as I can so that when I look back on my little ones growing up, I wont feel as though I missed anything.
Don't know if my random musings make any sense. But I'm sure grateful for them. Don't get me wrong - if I could freeze my beautiful baby girl and boy so that they stay as sweet and little as they are now, I would! But I think I'm going to handle them growing into the amazing people Heavenly Father sent them here to become much better than I thought I would.
