Happy Thoughts About Growing Up

Jonah has been doing so well at being a "big boy" (aka-keeping his underwear dry) that I decided to take him to the zoo today. I usually don't attempt this feat by myself, but I decided to try. It was awesome! The kids were so good. I even braved the splash park by myself! Just call me Super Mom!

I had a few thoughts today as I was hanging out with my two precious children. I realized that my kiddos are growing up. I also realized that I'm really not heart broken over it. Sure, I get those moments of being overwhelmed by how quickly the time has passed and I miss the ages they will never be again, but I don't have that yearning for time to rewind like I usually do.

Anyone who knows me well knows that this is weird for me. Usually I'm a mess of red-eyed blubbering at even the smallest moment of reminiscing. So when I realized this, I spent some time really thinking about it. I don't know that I'll ever make sense of it, but I enjoyed watching my big boy and precious girl doing big kid things and not needing to put my sunglasses on to try to hide my bloodshot eyes.

A good friend of mine, actually, she was my good friend and boss before I had Jonah, had given me some very sound advice before he was born. "Enjoy every moment". It really sounds like a simple thing - maybe even a cliche - but I took it to heart. At some point I had made the decision that I was going to do just that: enjoy every moment I can with these precious spirits that I'm being blessed with. And while I know I can always do better living up to that mantra - I sure try.

And I wonder, did it make all the difference? Did my attempts at appreciating every little moment I have with my children help prevent me from being sad that those moments passed? It almost seems a little bit backward. Shouldn't I miss those moments because I experienced them so fully? For me, however, I believe this to be a tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father. I am so grateful to him that I'm able to look at my children climbing ropes and swimming under water and be excited for what the future holds rather than what I'm going to miss about them being little. I think He knew that it would be hard for me to not hold on to the past so He is helping me enjoy as many seconds as I can so that when I look back on my little ones growing up, I wont feel as though I missed anything.

Don't know if my random musings make any sense. But I'm sure grateful for them. Don't get me wrong - if I could freeze my beautiful baby girl and boy so that they stay as sweet and little as they are now, I would! But I think I'm going to handle them growing into the amazing people Heavenly Father sent them here to become much better than I thought I would. 

Close to Heaven - a story about my sweet Jonah

 From the very beginning, I've always felt that my children were very special children of God, sent here to fulfill important roles. I think every mom and dad out there understands what I mean. These spirits being sent to us are so incredibly special and loved by our Heavenly Father. Once in a while, something will happen that will remind me of those thoughts and feelings.

I remember the first time this happened. It was when Jonah was being blessed. He was sound asleep when I gave him to my brother, Jim, to receive his name and blessing. He was only a few months old. It was a beautiful blessing, as they all are. And of course, I'm crying during the whole thing. But not Jonah. He didn't make a peep. I figure he just kept on sleeping. I found out later from Jim that he actually woke up and looked into Jim's eyes the whole time. When the blessing was over, he closed his eyes again and was completely out when he was handed back to me. I often wonder if he knew what was being said and understood the importance of being able to complete his mission on earth, whatever it is. And when those words were being spoken, it was as if he was paying close attention and accepting the blessings he was receiving. Most likely he was just enjoying listening to his uncle's voice...but just maybe...

There's been other times when I'm just floored by something Jonah says or does that leaves no doubt in my mind that he is close to the Spirit.

This morning I had one of those moments. It may seem like a normal 3 year old conversation, but there was something about it that made it different and special. And I want to point out that Jonah loves oatmeal, especially when there's strawberries in it.

Here's more or less how the conversation went:

"wanna go see Jesus!"
"Jonah, while we're on earth, we can't see Jesus. But we can feel him right here" (pointing to his heart)
after a little while...
"Jesus up high in the sky!"
"That's right! He's up in Heaven so that he can watch all of us and take care of us."
"Want go high in the sky like a rocket ship to Jesus!"
nothing much I can say to that so I just give him a kiss because I just love how sweet his is.
"Want Jesus eat strawberries!"
"I'm sure Jesus would love to eat strawberries. He created them so I'm sure he loves them"
"Want Jesus eat oatmeal!"
"Jesus created oatmeal too. I'm sure he's very happy that you're eating all the healthy food he created for you!" (I say things like this once in a while to help him to want to eat healthy. Yeah, I'm one of "those" moms)
"Want spoon for Jesus!" as he raises his spoon as high as he can
"Want share oatmeal with Jesus!"
"Honey, Jesus can't share your oatmeal with you right now. But that's very kind of you to want to share with Him."
"Please, Jesus!! Have spoon!"

What can I do at this point but watch him strain as hard as he can to get the spoon up high while he's looking up and pleading with Jesus to share some strawberry oatmeal with him. The look on his face was so sweet and loving. I had a thought that if I wasn't able to find the yellow spoon again, I wouldn't be surprised.

I give him another kiss on his head and tell him that Jesus loves him so much.
And he looked at me and said "I love Jesus". I think that look will be one I always remember. I only see it when we talk about Heavenly Father and Jesus, and its a look that reminds me of how incredibly special and loved these little ones are. And I think Jonah knows it too. I think he's closer to Heaven than I even realize. I just pray every day that I can somehow help keep him stay close so that he can make the right decisions and live his life to its fullest. I can't wait to see what Jonah - and Rebecca!- are going to be able to accomplish while they're here. Heavenly Father sure sent me two of his best!